TheNeverPages Serialisation
Series 6, Episode 5

TheNeverPages - Series 6, Episode 5

We have run aground! After perhaps millennium upon this lake we have run aground. But we cannot see what we have hit. There must be some invisible mass. Luckily whatever it is we have stuck has not scuttled our boat. I was lying on my back, dreaming of my childhood and all that it meant (as I have done of late these last years at sea) when we hit something. Paisley almost fell overboard as we pitched to the side, the hull of the boat creaking under the strain.

I prodded and poked at the invisible mass with my oar and there was most definitely something there. We have tried to sail around it, but it is impossible, so vast it is!

After many years of rowing and drifting, work and dream I have taken this NeverJournal out to document this. We are beached against it and I feel compelled to write. I have not documented the revelations and bittersweet recollection of my memory in the years between the pier and now. In all honesty, and as unbelievable as it sounds, I did not occur to me do so! As my memory returned, it seemed my duty as a Dream Investigator had been forgotten. This journal that has documented everything lay forgotten on the bottom of my boat for however long we have sailed for and only now that we have struck something, as if awoken from stasis, I resume my duty. We struck this strange ‘NothingBarrier’ and I suddenly remembered the journal. So here we are.


I have an idea – my periscope.

It is a mountain! Through the scope I can see a mountain, taller than anything I have ever encountered. Taller than anything I have read about, imagined or dreamt off. It stretches up past the clouds and into…who knows? To note – through the scope, I scanned all around me and nothing changes. It is just a flat plateau of never-ending red sand and this mountain. I put the scope to Paisley’s eye and tilted his head up…I could tell he was shocked. He held his breath upon seeing the great mountain.

I have a duty that I now remember. A duty that I have been brought here to carry out. As Brekker has said, as Lucy has said and as life itself has said - the duty is to carry on.

I have used my jacket as a papoose which Paisley now sits in.

We are to climb! 

When I reach a ledge to rest, I will write what I have learned and what I have felt. We climb!


Summit.

I am a God of no use. I am above the entire NeverRealm and I can see forever and not just across this realm, but through it! After lifetimes of climbing, I am on the summit of the FinalMountain and I can see with crystal clarity the plateau. I can see the lake at Pripyat and I can see a holographic projection of Couldwell above it and other towns as well!

I can see hundreds and thousands of settlements and a circulatory system of roads, railways and electrical lights all layered over each other, and below too. I can see down forever. I can see every variation of every thought and every possible reality. I am God.

But I have no use for I am bound to continue and yet a great impossibility now faces me. At the summit of the mountain is a flat brick wall. No idea of its thickness. Could be inches, could be leagues. It stretches upwards into, presumably, the very roof of the Multiverse. It stretches across in both directions to who knows where.

Looking down at the all the worlds below and seeing all the eventualities fills me with a coldness. I have no attachment, despite my understanding all of it. I hold out my hand, and the perspective of my hand over the vista seems to cover vast countries, blotting out their existence. And yet it means nothing.

I can observe everything, and yet I cannot act on anything. I cannot change anything. I cannot affect anything from this height and so, from my ineffectual state of observation I have truly no use and that, truly, makes me God. 

And so there is only one thing left to do: Perform the impossible. I am to walk through this wall. Like all humans, I am 0.01% substance and so if I concentrate every atom and, if I move slowly enough, I will merge with this wall and be able to pass through it to the OtherSide. It is not whimsy. Not fantasy. It is science. Theoretical science yes, but science all the same. It can be done and it will be done because it must be done. My conscious state will guide me. My love for Lucy will guide me. It will guide every molecule as it always has done.

I have to do this, but I also know what that means. I will have to leave everything I have behind. To continue I must leave my clothes and my scope and this diary. If I am to pass through this wall, if I am to be reborn on the OtherSide I must be naked. And….I will have to leave Paisley.

I think he understood. He was looking out at the NeverRealms below when I bent down and kissed him. He nuzzled me and whimpered. I think he knew that he would remain here alone, surveying everything. If anyone where to find this mountain and climb it, they would be met by a pile of clothes, a little journal and a canine deity.

We sat together and hugged each other. I stroked and kissed him and his tail waggled slightly. He nudged me. His nudge said “go find her, go find your peace.”


I have taken off my clothes and they lie neatly folded next to Paisley. I have unravelled my papoose-jacket and draped it over his back. He cried a little when he smelt my identity in its fabric. But he understood. I am standing next to him now, naked and sad. Once I have finished this entry, I will leave the book by him.

The NeverRealm - I am taking stock of all I have done. I am realising that my insignificance in the sense of temporal occupancy does not mean that my actions are insignificant.

Nothing is insignificant. Everything matters.

I miss my friends.

This is the last of the NeverPages.



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