TheNeverPages Serialisation
Series 4, Episode 9

TheNeverPages - Series 4, Episode 9

Angeline Entry.

Nikola, my lover you sleep so soundly. You snore so loudly! You are exhausted and drunk. I have given you drink and I have given you food. I have given you speech, sight, sound, and I have given you my body.

When I saw you standing in the doorway to our secret room, looking up at the ceiling my heart became all things at all times. You had a look of horror on your face and you seemed to be looking up at nothing. As soon as I saw you, my heart was yours once again. A distant, awful dream I have been in of late. Since you left, I have done nothing. I have not eaten nor slept. I cannot say I have even walked. I feel as though I have drifted through my days.

You have come back to me! You were there, writing in your journal without looking, mouth open, eyes wide in horror. I called your name. I could not be calm, I shouted out “Darling Nikola, my love, my heart, you have come back.” You said nothing. You did not acknowledge me at all. Then I thought that perhaps I was dreaming, perhaps I had finally fallen to darkness. I walked over and touched you on the shoulder. You snapped awake and turned to…well half turned! I was stunned by a magical trick of the light that manipulated my amorous eyes, for you appeared to be half here and half not! As if half way in a room. The left hand side of your body seemed to have disappeared. I rubbed my eyes, you had returned. And your eyes saw mine and you said, in a voice I had not heard before, you said, “You’re awake.”

And yes, my dear Nikola, your wonderful and alive Angeline is awake. We embraced and as we kissed, I felt as if I was once a closed book that had once more been opened.

We fell into our secret room (despite your protestations. Oh, how you do like to play) and we made love over and over again. It was calamitous in the most amazing way. And after you collapsed down breathing hard, muttering under your breath (and who exactly is MGV1? Sounds like another of your scripture headings or perhaps it is code for another woman?) You mumbled and murmured and, as lovers do, I left to find you food and drink.

When I returned, I found you kneeling by the wall in the corner measuring an empty space on the wall. You have been strange before, but this was so strange that I laughed loudly and your eyes looked wild. I had to have you again. I fed you and poured drink down your throat and, as ever, you tried to get back to your work. After all this time apart, you tried to deny your Angeline her wants and rights! Foolish scientist! And so now you sleep, comatose and my world is back to normal. It no longer feels like I am caught in a typhoon or a thunderstorm. I no longer feel like I’m stuck on some ghastly train to nowhere. I feel reborn. When you wake up, I will wash and dress you and then, of course, we will go straight to the power plant.

Tesla Entry.

Woman is in the shower. I am frayed around the edges. Angeline she calls herself. Angeline was never her name. I knew her as Evelyn. Though she is the same in looks, and in tastes, she is not my lover in spirit. This version is a beast, vibrant and volcanic. My Evelyn is serene and graceful. When she said her name (Angeline) it struck a chord. As soon as she went to the shower, I grabbed the journal and read back. Master G_’s accomplice on the train, the nanny of Alexander Tumour Baby. She is Angeline the Cyclone. Her ramblings above echo the events surrounding the Other Angeline’s fate. Her feelings of being trapped on a train, of being in a storm are all concurrent. But this answer throws up one, terrible question. Whose dream is this? Where has the Evelyn of my reality gone?

Though I thought this NeverRealm belonged to many, it is clear that the LHC Firing are folding in all realities concerned with Master G_.

Evelyn has now become Angeline, and Other Angeline has now become Evelyn with a melded mind. The fate of the Other now just a feeling in the heart of the New Angeline.

I will keep this journal close to myself now and go with this New Angeline. I will go along, and see where it takes me. Paisley will accompany me, though I cannot tell if she can even see him. I have not looked at her through the periscope yet, but the thought occurs that she would not appear.

The residue on my left hand side has faded now. My fullness has returned. Rubbed off during Angeline’s attacks? Or maybe I have stepped into a new reality. Stepped into Pripyat of old. The room has become more concrete than wood. The footsteps over the ceiling remain. They fill me with utter dread.

To note also – the pages of this NeverDiary have re-ordered even further. I can read now a sad passage over the fate of Master G_ in his earthly-bound days. The experiments on dear Lucy, Brekker’s insanity and malice, Lucy’s pain…and Master G_’s suicide. Every moment that passes and with every new entry that reveals itself, I feel more convinced that, like MGV2, I am inside Master G_’s dream.

Will my fate be like that of MGV2? Now that MGV1 is locked inside his desert mind, how does this world continue? Characters in a dream do not live on after their puppeteer has woken up.

The sky is still pulsing supernaturally green.

Angeline returns.

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